Mystery Weekend 2016: The Characters
Detective I.B. Fuzz
Detective I.B. Fuzz is the world’s shortest retired Texas Ranger and volunteer Langley detective.
Hagetha Kisstea is a retired veterinarian and mystery writer (British cousin of I.B. Fuzz).
Gus and Gussie Gruesome
Gus and Gussie Gruesome are dynamic duo: Langley Coroner (and sausage maker) and Coroner’s Assistant.
Donald & Max Tramp
Donald is running for mayor of Langley. He feels “these alien rabbits” should be “deported to their native lands or states” but definitely not allowed to live in Langley and cause all this trouble by eating the food of native island bunnies or digging holes and creating homes in the soil of the island. He is all for the trapping the 49ers are doing but he wants them to deliver the rabbits to him for exportation, not to Sir Laurence’s “Hare Haven.” Trouble is that Donald is not offering to pay the 49ers for the rabbits. He feels it is their patriotic duty as citizens of Langley to deliver the “alien” rabbits for deportation by him.
Max Tramp is a miniature version of his grandfather Donald and is helping in his mayoral campaign. He passes out his grandfather’s campaign flyers and tells all who will listen that the non-native (mutant) rabbits need to be deported.
Velma T. Bunie
Velma T. Bunie owns the local bookstore and has a contract with the Shakespeare Festival as the exclusive provider of scripts and books to the Festival and as the only book booth vender at the festival grounds. She is the sister of “Free Range Bunnies” activist, Ester Bunie.
Portia & Julius Cesaro (husband & wife)
Portia and Julius Cesaro are “culture snobs” and VERY wealthy patrons of the Shakespeare Festival. They were instrumental in convincing Sir Lawrence Burton to relocate to Whidbey Island and work with the Festival. They also agreed to pay his salary for the first five years and co-sign a loan so Sir Laurence could purchase his farm house and land. They fully expect to land leading roles in future Festival productions because they brought him here.
Juliet is a sickly sweet ingénue who is always out to get the leading female part in every Shakespeare Festival play. She will (almost?) literally stab someone in the back to get a good role but she is all sweet innocence on the surface. She loves to “sweetly” gossip about all the other festival members to undermine their images and place herself in the best light but most of her colleges have caught on to her and will tell others not to believe all Juliet says.
Ophelia Burton (victim’s wife)
Ophelia did NOT want to leave England where she, by merit of marrying Sir Laurence Burton, was one of the few Americans ever allowed to join the Royal Shakespeare Company. She is also allergic to rabbit fur and is not happy with her husband’s offer to create a rabbit sanctuary on their farm. She has recently been very friendly with Hertha Hausen and Mr. Rolf Skinner.
Rosalind is an aspiring actress who is working as a legal assistant in order to earn enough money to enter the NYU School of Drama to study in their Shakespeare abroad program. She has big dreams but not much talent and a very bad memory. She is always misquoting Shakespeare’s lines. The other actors associated with the Island Shakespeare Festival make fun of her behind her back but she is so determined to see her dream come true that she has been seen “making eyes” at Sir Laurence Burton when his wife, Olivia, is not around.
Josephine (Curr) Panifica
Josephine is the wife of Ignis Panifica and co-owner of the Sundance bakery. She has always dreamed of being “on the stage” and has great hope that she can land a role with the Island Shakespeare Festival this summer. She has her eye on the role of Portia in “Julius Caesar” but is afraid the rich Mrs. Cesaro will get the role since Portia and her husband are major contributors to the festival. Her brother, Joe Curr, who is working as a handy man for the Festival and has the contract to build Hare Haven for Sir Laurence so she hope she also has an “in” with the Festival.
Elmer is a big, bumbling guy who is trying to trap the rabbits in the hopes of finding “foster homes” to “socialize” them and then offer them (spayed and neutered) to good families as pets. He has high hopes for his plan but his girlfriend, Ester Bunie, thinks even this compassionate care is wrong and still campaigns for “Free Range Rabbits” in Langley saying they will become a major tourist attraction.
Wilie stopped agreeing with his Mother (Ester Bunie) about “Free Range Rabbits” in Langley after he sprained his ankle in a rabbit hope on the playfield at the Middle School. He is now helping his Mom’s boyfriend, Elmer Dud, trap the rabbits for “re-homing” with “good families” and may even be secretly leaning toward eating the little rascals when his ankle is hurting.
Gustaf is a big, blustering German who owns a chain of restaurants in Pittsburgh, PA called “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.” He is planning to open a second restaurant in Leavenworth WA and was looking for a nearby source for rabbit for his restaurant’s signature dish, hasenpfeffer (rabbit stew). He is adamant that the solution to the Langley “rabbit problem” is for his company to trap or shoot the rabbits and use them to feed people. He has even offered to pay the City for the rights to hunt and trap the rabbits. He has also offered to provide some of his frozen rabbit stew to the local food bank, which has declined.
Hertha is the “little but fierce” wife of Gustaf. She is the marketing power behind “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” and is currently working with Shirley Stolen and Lavern Lubeck two “pretty young things” who will be the advertising faces of the German family restaurant when they open in Leavenworth. Hertha has befriended Ophelia Burton, They bonded over grandchildren and roaming husbands.
Bruno is a European trained chef. He wears his chef’s hat everywhere and insists on being addressed as “Chef Wilhelm.” He has been hired to be head chef at the Leavenworth branch of “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” but knows that, with his superior European training he will soon be executive chef over all the restaurants as the franchise expands (as Gustaf has planned). Bruno is also very PROUD of his heritage and ancestry. Do NOT insult Bruno!
Rolf if a sneaky and aggressive man who hides it with a sly smile. He is working for Gustaf at “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” but has convinced Gustaf to allow him to sell the “perfectly usable” rabbit pelts left over from the bunny stew preparation. Rolf has signed contracts with some shady Japanese fashion industry guys. Their Japanese bunny fur fashions are taking off and Skinner needs to start shipping more rabbit pelts soon.
Shirley Stollen & Lavern Lubeck
Laverne & Shirley are sweet young girls who have been hired by Hertha Hausen to be the new “faces of Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.” They have been told this is a remarkable opportunity with great exposure which could land them modeling or acting jobs (as commercials have done for others in Hollywood). They are busy promoting the benefits of rabbit in the diet and learning the silly “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” theme song.
Ignis grew up in a circus family in Europe. His family had a juggling and fire eating act. One summer he met and fell in love with Josephine Curr who was studying European baking. They married and moved to Langley where they started a wood fire bakery. He wants to join the 49ers Men’s Club and has offered to work with his brother-in-law. Joe Curr, to round up the mutant Langley rabbits. He will use his flame thrower to scare the rabbits into pens for Joe to round up.
Ester Bunie is a life-long animal advocate. She loves Elmer Dud, and respects his idea of sending the rabbits to loving homes, however she feels that, now that they and their offspring have experienced freedom they need to remain free. She also believes the beautiful creatures, in their varied colors and spots, will become a tourist draw, a case she is trying desperately to make to the City Council and the merchants. “This colorful “hippy” believes so much in lovely varied colors, sunshine, and happy relations between nature and humankind that she may seem like a “60s mind trip.”
Bugsy is an avid supporter of his cousin Ester and her animal rights causes. He has been suspected of opening rancher’s fences and “letting the horses run free” as well as letting the chickens out of neighborhood coups and burning down the chicken coups. However, his friend Elmer has pointed out to him that the horses almost got hit by cars when they wandered onto the highway and many of the chickens had been attacked by the local coyotes because they no longer had the fenced coup to protect them. Now he is confused and vacillating between Ester and Elmer’s ideas, while trying to evade the local police who are on his trail for the vandalism.
Roger is “a wild and crazy guy” and supports the idea of the Langley Rabbits being free to roam. Though he is not averse to capturing them to be neutered and released he realizes that could be expensive so, in addition to his work for “Free Range Rabbits” he is trying to find a big donor to contribute money for “fixing” the rabbit problem in town.
Jessica is the beautiful daughter of Roger Babbit and is in love with Bugsy Bunie. She is worried about both of her guys so she is staying close to the “Free Range Rabbit” group but she secretly thinks the furry friends taste delicious. She thinks her Dad has “going off the deep end” and that Roger is on the verge of getting arrested and so she is hoping to protect them from themselves. At the same time she is fighting off the advances of Gustaf who wants her as one of the “faces of Hasenpfeffer” girls. Jessica thinks that she is too old for that and that Gustaf has other motives.
Marchel Hare is a young friend of Wilie Bunie, Elmer Dud, and Ester Bunie. He wants to see the rabbits safe at “Hare Haven.” Ester says that would be a cruel way to treat what are now “Free Range Rabbits” but Marchel agrees that Elmer’s idea has merit and is more practical then Ester’s ideas. He is one of Bugsy Bunnie’s group of “activists.”
Peter C. Tail
Peter also wants to see the bunnies left alone. He has secretly helped Bugsy on some of his late night “rescues.” After almost getting caught at Mr. McGregor’s farm, Peter has decided to help Roger Babbit raise money to “fix” the rabbits.
Peter (aka Harv) is the son of Roger Babbit and friends with Marchel Hare and Peter C. Tail. He is a want-a-be environmental activist and was an avid supporter of Bugsy Bunie and his campaign to “free all the animals from human exploitation.” However, he feels that Bugsy may be “getting soft” and/or might be a little afraid now that their antics with releasing animals have drawn the anger of the farmers and the eyes of the police.
Founding member and President of the 49ers Men’s Club, retired engineer, and computer nut
Retired industrial designer and Vice President of the 49er’s Men’s Club
Local carpenter, brother of baker Josephine Curr Panifica, and youngest member of 49ers Men’s Club
Former Mayor of Langley, a founding member and Treasurer of 49ers Men’s Club
Daryl B. Moretacome
Retired C.I.A. operative (do not ask for details!) and Secretary of the 49er’s Men’s Club