Mystery Weekend 2016: In Review
“MUCH ADO ABOUT MURDER: A Hare-raising Tail”
Langley Mystery Weekend XXXIII
February 27 & 28 2016
The seaside village of Langley, on Whidbey Island, was invaded. Not by aliens, not even by tourists, but by ravenous rabbits! These large Lepus were a mutant mix of multiple domestic rabbit breeds which escaped during the Island County Fair several years ago. Unlike the Island’s small the native brown rabbits, these bogie bunnies came in black, white, spotted, angora and short hair. Because of a few “Dutch Giant” Lepus in the mix, the non-native mutants seemed to be getting bigger and more voracious with each generation. They were eating up yards and pastures, digging up lawns and sports fields, and generally wreaking havoc on the village. Opinions varied as to how to stop this plague. Some said, “Feed them to the hungry,” while others thouhgt the fuzzy creatures needed to be loved and protected. Some pleaded for capture, some for capture and sterilization, and others said, “Let them roam free and frolic,” but most were in agreement that something needed be done, ASAP!
Then what seemed like the perfect answer to the bunny boondoggle appeared in a proposal from one of Langley’s newest residents. Famed British Shakespearean actor, Sir Laurence Burton, moved to Langley to take up a position as consultant to The Island Shakespeare Festival. In keeping with his British love of all things bucolic he purchased a forty acre farm near Honeymoon Bay. He had no intention of farming until he learned about Langley’s lepus lament. Sir Laurence offered to establish a rabbit sanctuary on his farm. He would pay five dollars for every mutant Langley bunny humanely captured and delivered to his Sanctuary Director. Burton promised to house the Langley Lepus for life in climate controlled hutches with large rabbit fenced pastures in which to roam.
Sir Laurence’s proposition seemed like the perfect solution to the concerns of all sides! So how was it that, on the morning of February 26th, Hagetha Kisstea’s hound, Baskerville, sniffed out the stiff body of the famous Shakespearean actor in a quiet alley of the village?
We are sad to announce that the person arrested for the murder of British Shakespearean actor Sir Laurence Burton was carpenter, general contractor, and 49er, Joe Curr. According to Detective I.B. Fuzz, these were the clues which lead her to her solution. Joe Curr had been hired by Sir Laurence as carpenter/general contractor for construction of the Hare Haven rabbit rescue. Joe Curr was told by Sir Laurence that funds for construction were short and rabbits which had been delivered were being kept in cages. Joe was running out of money for construction of Hare Haven. Joe cared about the rabbits having good homes at Hare Haven and did not like what he saw happening at Hare Haven. He shared his suspicions with Roger Babbit and told Roger he was considering joining in the Free Range Rabbit movement. The money Joe Curr was getting from Sir Laurence was getting so tight that Joe had resorted to buying carrots to feed them out of his own money. He told people, “something is off there” and that he might start doing some “rabbit rescue” of his own. Joe told the 49ers that. “Something fishy is going on at Hare Haven and I intend to find out what.” Joe found out Gustaf Hausen had suddenly found a source for local rabbit for his Hasenpfeffer Incorporated Restaurant. Joe was seen driving into Langley early Friday morning. C.S.I. determined that the unusual knife found at the crime scene was actually a stage dagger belonging to the victim, Sir Laurence. The Coroner determined in his complete autopsy that the cause of death was a deep and narrow stab wound. Officer Graph was asked to reexamine the scene of the crime and she discovered an awl hidden under a bush. She had missed it in her earlier investigation. The awl was covered in blood. Joe Curr is a carpenter. Carpenters use awls. Joe was a rabbit lover and suspected Sir Laurence was planning to sell the rabbits to Hausenpfeffer Incorporated to make money for himself. Joe called Sir Laurence to confront him and whatever Sir Laurence said to him made Joe so angry he stabbed Sir Laurence Burton with the carpenter’s awl as Burton was leaving The Inn at Langley after signing the final contract with Gustaf Hausen.